Onwards to the Sun!

the deceptive cloud.

2007-01-31T21:18:00.000+05:00

entwined,
tree into tree into tree.
crows
a confusing breeze.
answer me.
show me, see.
love, flee; lie
to the breeze.
trees into tree into tree
crow
a heartbroken breeze.
spring in winter,
answers plain.
love, a lie.
crows can't sing.
trunk on trunk on the ground.
find another,
make a sound.
love, not real
said aloud.
the sun can't love,
the decepticve cloud.

Dreamsong...

2006-11-27T01:37:00.000+05:00

~I wrote this a while ago... it doesn't mean anything to me now. I composed a tune for it... i'll record that and post it in a little while... just trying to get the blog up and running now. The winter seems to be getting to me. I love it.

She came to me like a strong spring breeze
Said, "I got you!” "before you got me!"
I laid there still, shot to the ground.
kinda happy, but wearing a frown
i didn't know what to do...
it was kinda a like a dreamsong!

crazy streams running to sea,
crazy streams, running over me
funny feelings through my brain,
funny feelings and you refrain
it happened once, didn't happen again
cause its kinda like a dream song!

Sold me short for your day in the sun,
I played the game, but you won!
I recall the words, but forgot the tune,
Spring lost and Autumn was you!
What of me? The dreamer the fool!
Cause i've been lost in a dreamsong!
Lost, in your lie of a dreamsong…

Streets of Tears...

2006-11-24T01:46:00.000+05:00

Out on the streets paved with tears
Reflective sun gods shamed
It doesn’t make you slip or cry; just fall in love;
Where the tears slide down and become what they should…
A tear stained smile.

2006-08-05T05:16:00.000+05:00

Around 5 O'clock in the morning, can't sleep or is that i just really don't want to. Sleep, what is it? Sleep is the time we spend away from everyone else, its the time we waste that we really couldv'e spent living. The only thing about sleep that redeems it of this evil part of it are the dreams that we dream when consuming it. I was never really a big fan of sleeping, it just never really made sense, its just an awfully good way of culling time. Why would someone really want to do that? I mean, I personally hold nothing more sacred than time. I always felt like if i go to sleep I'll be missing out on life. I don't know how differenct people look at it, but i just love life, no existential dillema, no remorse for being. People tend to think of themselves to be bigger than life, in a way its a castle they fashion that is conducive to the attitude of: "Hey man i just don't care, i'm too cool for this shit." -I... I'm just glad to be alive. Extremely grateful, not too anyone or anything mind you, just in the sense of a 'feeling', plain and simple graditude.

The Sun Staring Right Back At Me...

2006-06-20T02:24:00.000+05:00

I can feel the blindness coming on
Here I stand to sing my song
The day will soon be gone
I’ve been staring at the sun too long
Icar [ian] dreams and waxen awakenings
I still stand here and I can’t see
Will the sun ever stare back at me?

The Crows cried Murder!

2006-06-18T04:32:00.000+05:00

The Sun has set the day is done,
No more lies he cried, no more lies she lied.
You sold me short for your day in the sun...
I don't can't understand i live on your lie.
cold blood the crows cried murder,
i still lie here and wonder why.
Bang!

2006-06-08T21:19:00.000+05:00

The tragedy of autumn, or spring really is that, spring can never blow autumn's leaves away. It takes a cold winter or warm summer breeze to do that. Spring is calm, in love. Spring will eventually turn to summer, feeling like a fool and summer and winter will be closer to autumn than spring will ever be. Spring can change to Summer... but summer doesn't love spring... not really atleast.

Sunrise

2006-06-04T05:34:00.000+05:00

the show started early tonight,
it would finish real late
stayed up
worth all the wait.
brim of the earth
golden pouring in
don't remember the lines
but that's alright
wasn't really good with lines anyway

Spring Loves Autumn

2006-05-26T03:19:00.000+05:00

Spring loves Autumn...
but Autumn is hiding underneath all her leaves.
Time is short, life too few,
The season's wrong the dream far from true.
Time awaisted the sad will linger;
till spring turns to summer and autumn to winter.

the death of spring...

2006-05-08T01:37:00.001+05:00

summer and winter fell in love and had a child,
they called it spring.
winter loved spring too much

and her icy caress killed him.
buried under the leaves of the trees between them,

lay him.
they never talked again.
they had another child,

they called him spring all the same.
but spring was gone;

deep within the death and beauty of red autumn.

something just died...

2006-05-03T09:41:00.000+05:00

something just died on my floor,
its gathering ants now.
slowly but surely bits and pieces of it,
meticulously carried away into some deep dark hole in the wall.
something died on my floor,
its been lying there for a week.
why won't anyone sweep my floor?
its beginning to give off a stench now.
why won't i sweep my floor?
how can i just lie there,
bits and pieces of me carried away...

night sky...

2006-05-02T01:24:00.000+05:00

The sun sets in through,
the daughter of the earth and sky.
The ugly moon rises to shine.
the horizon is trully beautiful tonight.
beautiful enough to kill.

Throntree...

2006-04-28T15:11:00.000+05:00

The sandman come's no more,
The sheep they never end.
The thorntree told me,
the shade can't be mine.
Pricked and bleeding,
I sigh.

left with humanity...

2006-04-26T23:54:00.000+05:00

not mine...
not mine to console.
not mine to love.
not mine to protect.
humanity is an awful thing.

Fool No More.

2006-04-24T23:56:00.000+05:00

Conversations with myself,
Conversations never make you stay.
Hands dirty all the time,
Can't seem to wash this away.
Tell me all there is to know about you.
Tell me I'll listen, Don't cry.
Stay a while, don't go.
Tell me everything about the other guy.
There's a song bird that breaks;
the shrill silence of the night.
The pain won't go.
Darkenss shadowed by blinding light.
I'm tired now,

The love unsaid almost too loud;

Lockless but alive,

fool no more... no more.

The Saxaphone!

2006-04-20T09:21:00.000+05:00

I looked for love in your empty heart,
I listen;
skip a beat!
But your heart is strong,
It keeps its pace.
Out run me, out run life.
The loser breathes life into his saxaphone,
He can play most anything.
But he too, when he see's you there...
Your deep brown eyes, your darkened hair.
The music stops for just a while,
but enough to live a lifetime in.

The Canvas Muse

2006-03-24T13:19:00.002+05:00

You watch as the canvas muse unfurls;
her tresess long and dark.
The night, moonlit,
and there's a thorn prick in your heart.
The canvas muse unfolds;
to me her tears are still warm.
The time is too little,
the story too long.
Is love unsaid stronger is love wrote aloud not real?
The things left unspoken, they don't rhyme much,
but that's just the way you feel.
The sound of a familiar chime,
the lost verse the same old rhyme.
The canvas muse will soon find,
that time is short, there's a lie that binds.
Why can't she be mine?

Thorn pricks...

2006-03-07T23:10:00.000+05:00

You cut yourself to see,
If you bleed like everyone else.
And you find out that you do,
only more, so much more.
And you die of the love,
and you love of the pain.
And you hate this chord,
but you play it all the same.
If she told you that she loved you,
would you walk all the way.

Golden Slumbers

2006-02-26T12:49:00.000+05:00

Golden slumbers... why do you sleep?
Golden slumbers... what's in your dreams?
Golden slumbers... what do you keep;
From the dreams you dream,
Do you find your peace?
Do you feel alive?
Gloden slumbers... do you dream of me?

the human condition

2006-02-24T00:43:00.000+05:00

Why the thorn tree?
Why the shadow?
Why the songbird?
Why the sun?
Why 42?
Why the smile?
Why the blue?
Why the sad?
Why the truth?
Why death?
Why life?
Why me?
Why you?
Because we're human and we're in love.

If only you knew...

2006-02-18T22:12:00.000+05:00

If only you knew.
If only you knew what I am; about
the sunshine that plays; somehow
you knew I feel too much.
I could tell you I know what you are; about
how I know that you too are sad.
A sadness that lingers on for too long.
A sadness that causes to wither; away
the Sun might shine again on you and I.
The Rain might drown the sad.
The Wind might sweep us away.
If only you knew.

To Change...

2006-02-13T22:54:00.000+05:00

I'm not the mind i used to be,
I sit in the shadow of the thorntree.
I have changed...
Learnt it the hard way,
Learnt it the right way.
What of me the fool? the dreamer?
Will i dream again, will i wonder?
Broken verse and broken bones,
The walk is long on these jagged stones.
What of me? The fool, the clown.
What does it take to take the shadow down?

Clouds...

2006-01-29T17:25:00.000+05:00

You're a cloud...
I can't chase clouds.
Thunder and Rain they wash me away.
I guess i just can't stay.

The Angel...

2006-01-17T12:20:00.000+05:00

Gave my heart to an Angel,
She said she'd keep it safe.
Gave my heart to an Angel,
The Angel flew away.
The feeling disappeared.
Strange I must say,
Angels did't really come my way.
But the question I beg;
The only thing; I sigh.
Why? Why do Angels lie?

My New Song!

2005-12-03T02:07:00.000+05:00

I just uploaded my first song on the internet...Its called, "I dreamt a Dream of you" If you have the time give it a listen. The link is http://ehsanullahshah.multiply.com/music
You'll like it!

Candle Light Dinner!

2005-11-30T16:29:00.000+05:00

Yeah, so the lights were out and Abba took this one on selftimer...absolutely no artificial light at all!

A dream...

2005-11-28T17:24:00.000+05:00

I dreamt a dream of you,
In shades of gray it seemed tragically true.
I knew then what to say,
I don't know now the words have flown away.
I wish that you could see me now,
The wind that plays with the feather; Somehow
i think that you are there,
But its a dream and my conscience is bare.
It seemed so real it seemed so plain,
Its all gone now I'm awake again.

Becoming

2005-10-31T11:02:00.000+05:00

"The becoming for the becomer' is beautiful, the beauty is lost when the becomer becomes." I was just pondering over this last night. I felt that this held a lot of meaning to me but i hadn't realised it yet. What i primarily mean to say is that...potentiality is the most amazing feeling in the world... when you know you can do something...you trully feel that you can, but you don't do it! You always maintain your birdseye view of everything and don't become one with the object or the task in question...because then you can't experience it anymore...Can you really experience yourself??? I belive the Wordsworth too was struggling with this very same phenomenon when he wrote "Tintern Abbey", the trancendance was the point where he lost passion. The Passion is for becoming and when you become, then viola': 'Passion No More! But this is just musing i guess...

Hashish...

2005-10-29T10:31:00.000+05:00

Air to smoke and smoke to air,
She plays with reality everywhere.
She moves like a hurricane through my brain;
Through my mind and through my skin.
She questions me about what she does to me,
I don't know what to say... I have no questions.
Conversations with myself I am lost for words,
Does she affect me in this way,
Or do I just don't know what to say.
She is my prison she is my field,
I dig all day to nowhere.
Shades of blue and shades of gray,
Hazy winters in my brain.
In my heart and on tongue,
My longing will never stray...

Bad Teeth!

2005-07-12T11:49:00.000+05:00

Bright lights and drills,
Blinding pain slowly kills.
Fillings for cavities,
follow sweet activities.
I am a me,
So i will be free.
No i will not see!
Bad teeth come back to me...

If Green to me was blue to you...

2005-07-11T12:25:00.000+05:00

I wrote this song a while ago, i just felt that it makes more sense to me now than before:

And the loser will find love one day,
And all his dreams will come his way,
And he will learn that love is only fleeting.
*
If Green to me, was blue to you,
and love among us just holy glue,
Oh what then...
Oh what then would you say.
*
If the eternal answer was 42,
And the number 9 just a clue,
And 27, just another age...
*
Do you remember the songs we played,
The Rhymes we sang on that happy day,
The poetry we wrote...
The smiles that we shared...
*
And we will find God one day,
Or will it be the other way.
The Burden we bear,
The Words that she says...

The Celebration of Death.

2005-07-03T18:37:00.000+05:00

Pyres and Coffins,
Hearses and Graves.
Death on wings,
Time swiftly brings.
To live a life,
To face strife.
To die,
To try.
Life is fleeting,
Life is beautiful.
Life must end,
Death must be.
Why the grief,
Why the sorrow.
Why should we,
Live tommorow.

Perceptions

2005-06-14T11:28:00.000+05:00

Since perception is reality,
and reality perception.
What should one do,
Whence conception
changes; reality and alters perception.
A rebirth of the body and of the soul,
An escape from the womb and vile deception.
Intoxicating blood and intoxicating the mind,
From the first miracle we're all, in divity bind.
So whence we came and whence we go,
Lets drink up; life! just is so.

Pseudo Control!

2005-05-31T00:58:00.000+05:00

People talk about control, when i initially presented my suicide arguement, i was met with scepticism with arguements such as, "Only people who've lost control commit suicide!" Thanks to my most respected patrons (people who comment here) I thought some more and will repose the notion so as its more clearly understood! I merely state that we're not in control at all. NO ONES IN CONTROL! Not you not me not anybody. We are all culturally or lets say, environmentally predetermined. Each and every one of us. We think we're in control but sadly we're not. We read about an experiment with dogs in human behaviour. These two dogs were put in seperate cages and were given electric shocks. One of the dogs was able to stop the shocks by jumping over the partition in its cage. The other dog had no such option. The gist of the experiment was that the dog that thought that it was in control of the shocks had more chances of survival. The dog which was given random shocks in its cage, and could not, no matter what do anything about the shocks died, because of loss of appetite and general mental and not physical in any sense of the word, ailments. We are the dogs. But the ultimate question is: Who the hell is conducting the damn experiment?

Suicide???

2005-05-20T11:27:00.000+05:00

The act of commiting suicide is indeed divine,
For only then you are in control of of anything that you will be throughout your time.
Come to think of it life itself is just an elaborate suicide,
We're all lemmings and we must abide.
All your ideas and all your wealth,
Have you ever heard of a life that didn't end in death?

Reality

2005-05-17T10:39:00.000+05:00

Preceptions...are reality.
You are what you are,
No two ways about it.
So just let it be*!

The Beatles*, the rest is mine!

What The Hell!

2005-05-15T14:44:00.000+05:00

Hmmm... can't think of anything to write but here's a thought...

heard any good songs lately
i bet if you listen hard enough you'll find
That it is indeed all in your mind
that the music you like is hardly
fine; were prisoners each and everyone
joni said so and she still hasn't found the sun
so prisoners we are are so shall remain
here's hoping that we shall still be sane/the same.

Yaay!

2005-05-12T22:18:00.000+05:00

I just got a blogspot ! nani nani poo poo!